Biochemical Ambition

Seriously, I think it may be the single most amazing thing to me -- in a big world of things I find frankly astonishing -- how much food affects my state of mind.

I recently and finally bought a flat bench, so I can do butterflies and bench press. My existing bench is short, good for recline and sitting things only. I also bought a barbell finally, a couple of weight plates and a new (15#) set of dumbbells.

I can almost custom design how much my body will want to move, how much my muscles will want to tense repeatedly if I force sitting still, how many times I will think about working out, how creatively interested I will be (on the whole) about everything in my life, based on food.

So if I eat plenty of protein (80-120g/daily), and around 20-50 carbs, and all the rest decent fats, in whatever calories I can get down me (ketogenic diets kill appetite. I try to make 1500 calories a day), I will eventually have to start moving.

It begins with ideas. Daydreams.

It continues to more pronounced fidgeting, where I sit with my laptop computer.

It continues into intention, tense-and-hold contraction exercises dominantly of glutes and thighs, if I am still 'sitting around'.

Then it starts motivating me emotionally. Sure, I might have previously known I "should" clean the fridge, or make something yummy, or organize some household area, but now I will finally "feel like" getting off my butt and doing it.

And if that keeps up, I will gradually start feeling like doing something more proactive. It's time to paint something. Or maybe bricks and soil need work in the landscape. Rearrange the furniture. Completely restructure one room of the house. Take on one of those projects that are huge and where everything gets so much worse for awhile before it gets better.

But it's more than that. It isn't just about body-motion. It's about e-motion. E-ticket rides, you know, the internal movement of the soul or whatever you want to call it. Getting my food right makes me think about what I want to do with my life. With my day, week, month, and my goals for the next year or two. It makes me more willing to 'deal with' everything from child and family to work and friends. It gives me a sense of balance, a sense of flexibility.

It makes me feel like a human being. Again.

It's hard to believe that just the difficulty in getting food exactly right -- enough carbs not to feel too down (~50), not too many (or I'm doomed), enough protein, no grains (real old fashioned irish oats in small amounts are ok - no gluten, ever), slide the dairy in just right because too much is a trigger, taking my supplements, getting enough sleep -- this collection of habits doesn't just change my activity level.

It literally changes who I am, as a person. How ambitious I am. How creative I am. How flexible and humorous I am. How courageous I am. The list goes on. Even things like how spiritual I feel, whether I feel like making the effort to meditate, to pray, everything is affected by biochemistry.

PJ